Feelings of Inadequacy

First of all...OMG, I spelled that right.  How awesome!

I know that in this day and age of self-publishing, (Blogs) we can sit here and spew all sorts of drivel day in and day out.  Then we press "publish" and pray someone will read it. NO, not just read it, we live for the comments. You know we do.

I visit other blogs.  I see that they constantly get 100+ comments daily.  They have 500+ followers and new ones pop up every day. 

But for me, I get excited even if I get ONE comment.  I don't have much blog fodder in my life.  I don't have tons of wisdom to impart to the masses and I am just not as witty as I like to think I am.  But do you know what?  That is okay with me.  I don't write here to please you or the masses.  I write here for me.  Because sometimes, knowing that I have a place to vent or to share my silly little thoughts just makes everything a little easier for me.  I have to spew it out, I have no choice.  And this sure as hell beats flinging objects at walls and screaming obscenities in places where other people may hear them.

Anyways, I was thinking that most of us probably have days where we feel as if no one is reading.  That in some way, we may not be "Good Enough" to be read.  I know that my friend Carol over at Carol Creates just went through this.  She wrote a post on it.  But we need to remind ourselves that we are blogging because it feels good.  Not because we want to please the people who read what we write.  We blog for ourselves.

"If it feels good, do it!"

On to my drivel!

I had a wonderful weekend.  We are in the middle of moving from one house to another.  The new house could easily fit in the KITCHEN of my old house.  Yes.  We are downsizing.  We are going to save a shit ton of money and we are going to be a little cramped.  But I do believe it is the best decision we could have made.  And, I think it will be fun. Our little adventure.  Yay!

We started Saturday morning at our new house.  All empty and forlorn.  The landlord just had new windows installed and the place was covered in a fine layer of plaster dust.  We cleaned it top to bottom.  My boy was so helpful, he did the baseboards in all the rooms and picked up trash outside.  Everyone did their part. 

We were able to take over a couple of boxes yesterday and unpack them.  We are going through EVERYTHING.  If it has not been touched in six months...charity, if it is not needed at the moment...storage.  We have already donated a trunk full of clothes to the Humane Society and now there is another pile of random stuff waiting for transport.

We ended the weekend by walking around Target and Walmart.  Getting some ideas on space saving techniques and ways to maximize what space we do have.  It would probably help if we were willing to give up the king sized bed, but we are just not going to do that.  We found an amazing deal at Target on a folding table with four chairs.  This way, we can pull it out for dinner and put it away once dinner is over.  Therefore, leaving us more room for living space.  YAY!  It was on clearance and it was cheaper than just buying folding chairs and using the breakfast bar we already have.

I hope to be completely moved by the 26th.  We will be out of town during the last weekend of the month and I really don't want to carry over into April.  I am sure we can get it done.  Just watch us!





 

It has been a while...

...since I posted something sappy about my Super Cool Man Friend.

I was over at K's new place (Go HERE she is amazing!) and I was reading her sappy story about the love of her life.  And it got me thinking.  I know, right?  Just wave the smoke away.  The smell will dissipate soon.

The Super Cool Man Friend and I have officially been dating for five months now.  I gotta tell you, it really has been ALL rainbows and kittens and sparkly glitter.  

It has been so freaking amazing being with someone so easy to get along with. It is almost like he was created especially for me.  He is the Ying to my Yang, the Peanut Butter to my Jelly, the Mash Potatoes to my Ketchup.  ...What?

I count the minutes each day until we are together again.  I cherish every moment spent in his vicinity.  Even if he is on one side of the table on his laptop and I am on the other, on my laptop.  I still feel his foot brush mine.  I glance up and catch him staring at me with such love in his eyes.  I know that if I asked, he would drop everything and do my bidding, whatever it happened to be.  And I know, that I would do the same for him.

Sitting on the couch, streaming Netflix is heaven with this man.  Laying in bed, in the dark, and discussing life or Robot Chicken is just as enjoyable as going out.  I get giddy when the dog runs to the front door each evening because I know that, at any moment, he will be walking inside and coming straight over to me for a kiss and a big hug.

Now you might be wondering why I am telling you all this.

I have been in some pretty horrific relationships the past few, um, ten, years.  I had pretty much given up on finding my prince.  I was sure I was destined to be that lady who lived alone and ate cat food and hoarded things until one day I found myself trapped in a corner with no way out and two weeks later someone calls the cops because of the wretched stench.  Yeah.  That lady.

But YAY!  I am NOT gonna be that lady!  I have found my prince.  And guess what???  He thinks I am amazing too!  Isn't that something?  He is delusional, but don't tell him that okay?  But for him..I AM amazing.  I love the person I am with him.  I love my life.  I love OUR life.  And no matter what ever happens between us, I know I am a better person just for being with him.  He has taught me so much in the last five months about how to be a better partner.  And he is a wonderful friend.  I am the luckiest gal in the world.

This weekend we get to start moving into our new place.  I am really excited.  We will be saving tons of money and really paring down to bare essentials, the rest will go into storage.  It is about half the size of where we are living now.  I despise clutter and this will give me the much needed push to clean out some of my old stuff and get rid of it.  Onto our next adventure!

So there you have it folks, my sappy sappy mushy mushy post.  Awwwww.   Yeah, you can go throw up now.

Guess who is going to Vegas?

I will wait.  Go ahead.  Guess.

Well, yeah, it IS me.  I know I know.  It is so not fair...blah blah blah, I just came back from the Caribbean...blah blah blah.

Well.  You are right.  It is NOT fair.  And I am gonna do it anyways.  Nanner Nanner.

We are scheduled to check into our hotel on April 28th.  I am super excited.  I have not been to Vegas since 2002.  And that was not a very fun trip.

We are going to see the Blue Man Group, and Penn & Teller and we are gonna check out the Sharks at the Mandalay.  If all goes well, we may even catch one of the Cirque Du Soleil shows.  Don't have any idea which one, but I am sure they are all fantastic.

Oh, and we are gonna drink.  Just sayin'.

I promise I will post pictures.

What is your favorite thing to do in Vegas?  Is there something that I *JUST CAN NOT MISS*??

My New Home!

Yay!  I have a new home!  Here.  In ZombieLand.  Wooohooo!

I imported some of my other posts from the other blog.  So now I will use this one. 

Are you proud or what?

It Never Fails

Dude.  The schools here were closed, for like, 4 days, a week or so ago, due to some freak snow storm right?  Well, this week, they are closed Friday and Monday.  In-service and President's Day or something or other.  So my little kidlet is going to hang with his granny for his little holiday weekend.  She lives out of town so we try to schedule visits around 3 or 4 day weekends.

So you know what this means right????  Oh yeah.  I have a kid-free weekend!  Booyah!

The super cool man friend had already planned on us going out on a date sometime this weekend.  So I have that to look forward to.  Plus, I found out yesterday that a band is playing Friday night that I have been wanting to go see but every time they are scheduled, I have my boy.  We are definitely gonna go check them out.

BIG PLUS I get to go to my BFF's for her kids birthday party!  Cake!!  Everything is awesome when cake is involved.

And really, do I have to mention the hours and hours and hours of kid free time that can be spent...um...well, you know...sans clothing?  Sexy Adventure Time!  OH yeah.  It is gonna be one great weekend.

I snorted the other day when the super cool man friend asked if I was off on Monday for President's Day.  HA!  Just because you run a bank, Mister, does not mean that you can forget that the rest of us peons don't get 400 holidays a year.  Although....I think I might call in sick.  I mean, I am feeling quite poorly right now...(*cough* *cough*).  Hehe.

This morning, in my email, I was enticed by an ad for 5 nights at an All Inclusive Resort in Cozumel, Mexico for only 700.00.  Well, until I looked up the trip on some other site and the resort had THE WORST reviews EVER!!  I swear, if I won the lottery, I would travel so many times a year it would be pathetic.  I love dreaming up all the different trips I could take.  Too bad...the money is just not there but if it was...oh mama!

Ok, now I am going to go dream about my weekend.  See ya!

Valentine's Day

Why have we allowed ourselves to be manipulated into believing that this day is somehow important if you are in a relationship?  Equally so if you are not.  Most singles see this day as some sort of failure on their part.

I say "Fuck You Valentine's Day".

I was stressing for weeks.  I know how tight the budget is for me right now.  I was going crazy that I could not do something special for my super cool man friend.  I finally broke down one night last week and flat out said "Hey honey, sorry, but I am not gonna be able to do anything for you this V-day".  His reply?  "I was just gonna get you a card, I don't DO those kinds of holidays."

After my initial open mouthed wide eyed shocked reaction...I took a minute to think about what he had said and it seemed the more I thought about it, the more it made sense.  As always, he was correct.  This is just a day that has been invented to sell shit.  Especially for people who are feeling guilty.  Which I am not, so, BONUS!

The next day, (the day after that conversation) I get a text from my super cool man friend.  He asks if he can take me on a date, in lieu of doing anything for the dreaded V-day.  A nice date.  One where we can dress up. 

So that is what I have to look forward to.  We are going out this weekend.  Just he and I.  Not to celebrate anything, but to just be together.  How romantic.  I get all giddy just thinking about it.

Yeah, yeah...give me a minute.

I am pretty sure I should blog.  I really don't have much to say.  I have been a little "blah" lately. 

Take last weekend for instance, I did nothing.  Not one single thing.  It is ridiculous.  I woke up Saturday and made muffins for breakfast.  I had full intentions of cleaning my house and getting out and about, maybe take the family to the library.  Something!  But, no.  I sat.  Lunch time came around.  I made lunch.  Dinner time drew near and I finally got in the shower.  NO shit people.  5:00 pm and I am showering for the first time.  I went to the store, I made dinner.  That was it.  My kid was so excited because he said he wanted to stay in his pj's all day, and he did it!

Sunday???  Ten times worse than Saturday.  I did not get out of my pj's.  Not til Monday morning.  Did I clean? no.  Did nothing.  I suck.

So, Monday, when I went to work (with my kid in tow because I forgot to make arrangements for him because I forgot that he did not have school)...I realized that I had missed all sorts of things that were scheduled for the weekend.  FebFest, Superbowl (ick, but I usually go SOMEWHERE for superbowl), seeing my friends??  Yeah, that was kind of a shock.

Today, I got to work and remembered I should have been at a meeting last night and I totally spaced it. 

I miss my brain.

I filed my taxes.  Yay.  Now I won't go to prison, I am sure I was heading there.  They get mad when they send you letter after letter and you don't respond.  But hey, I don't have any money to pay them so they can wait....so, now they should be happy.  Until I file next year.  Then we will play dodge the irs again.  Woohooo!

Oh!  I made a new internet friend.  She is my Internet Soul Mate.  We share a brain and shit...and between the two of us...you may get like 1/4 of a brain.  But we are ok with that, so there.

Ok.  I blogged.  Happy now?

P.S.!!!  I LOVE WEEDS!  I am watching every episode back to back to back to back...hey, what did you think I did all weekend???  But it makes me want to smoke pot, or grow it.  Just sayin'.