It Never Fails

Dude.  The schools here were closed, for like, 4 days, a week or so ago, due to some freak snow storm right?  Well, this week, they are closed Friday and Monday.  In-service and President's Day or something or other.  So my little kidlet is going to hang with his granny for his little holiday weekend.  She lives out of town so we try to schedule visits around 3 or 4 day weekends.

So you know what this means right????  Oh yeah.  I have a kid-free weekend!  Booyah!

The super cool man friend had already planned on us going out on a date sometime this weekend.  So I have that to look forward to.  Plus, I found out yesterday that a band is playing Friday night that I have been wanting to go see but every time they are scheduled, I have my boy.  We are definitely gonna go check them out.

BIG PLUS I get to go to my BFF's for her kids birthday party!  Cake!!  Everything is awesome when cake is involved.

And really, do I have to mention the hours and hours and hours of kid free time that can be spent...um...well, you know...sans clothing?  Sexy Adventure Time!  OH yeah.  It is gonna be one great weekend.

I snorted the other day when the super cool man friend asked if I was off on Monday for President's Day.  HA!  Just because you run a bank, Mister, does not mean that you can forget that the rest of us peons don't get 400 holidays a year.  Although....I think I might call in sick.  I mean, I am feeling quite poorly right now...(*cough* *cough*).  Hehe.

This morning, in my email, I was enticed by an ad for 5 nights at an All Inclusive Resort in Cozumel, Mexico for only 700.00.  Well, until I looked up the trip on some other site and the resort had THE WORST reviews EVER!!  I swear, if I won the lottery, I would travel so many times a year it would be pathetic.  I love dreaming up all the different trips I could take.  Too bad...the money is just not there but if it was...oh mama!

Ok, now I am going to go dream about my weekend.  See ya!

Valentine's Day

Why have we allowed ourselves to be manipulated into believing that this day is somehow important if you are in a relationship?  Equally so if you are not.  Most singles see this day as some sort of failure on their part.

I say "Fuck You Valentine's Day".

I was stressing for weeks.  I know how tight the budget is for me right now.  I was going crazy that I could not do something special for my super cool man friend.  I finally broke down one night last week and flat out said "Hey honey, sorry, but I am not gonna be able to do anything for you this V-day".  His reply?  "I was just gonna get you a card, I don't DO those kinds of holidays."

After my initial open mouthed wide eyed shocked reaction...I took a minute to think about what he had said and it seemed the more I thought about it, the more it made sense.  As always, he was correct.  This is just a day that has been invented to sell shit.  Especially for people who are feeling guilty.  Which I am not, so, BONUS!

The next day, (the day after that conversation) I get a text from my super cool man friend.  He asks if he can take me on a date, in lieu of doing anything for the dreaded V-day.  A nice date.  One where we can dress up. 

So that is what I have to look forward to.  We are going out this weekend.  Just he and I.  Not to celebrate anything, but to just be together.  How romantic.  I get all giddy just thinking about it.

Yeah, yeah...give me a minute.

I am pretty sure I should blog.  I really don't have much to say.  I have been a little "blah" lately. 

Take last weekend for instance, I did nothing.  Not one single thing.  It is ridiculous.  I woke up Saturday and made muffins for breakfast.  I had full intentions of cleaning my house and getting out and about, maybe take the family to the library.  Something!  But, no.  I sat.  Lunch time came around.  I made lunch.  Dinner time drew near and I finally got in the shower.  NO shit people.  5:00 pm and I am showering for the first time.  I went to the store, I made dinner.  That was it.  My kid was so excited because he said he wanted to stay in his pj's all day, and he did it!

Sunday???  Ten times worse than Saturday.  I did not get out of my pj's.  Not til Monday morning.  Did I clean? no.  Did nothing.  I suck.

So, Monday, when I went to work (with my kid in tow because I forgot to make arrangements for him because I forgot that he did not have school)...I realized that I had missed all sorts of things that were scheduled for the weekend.  FebFest, Superbowl (ick, but I usually go SOMEWHERE for superbowl), seeing my friends??  Yeah, that was kind of a shock.

Today, I got to work and remembered I should have been at a meeting last night and I totally spaced it. 

I miss my brain.

I filed my taxes.  Yay.  Now I won't go to prison, I am sure I was heading there.  They get mad when they send you letter after letter and you don't respond.  But hey, I don't have any money to pay them so they can wait....so, now they should be happy.  Until I file next year.  Then we will play dodge the irs again.  Woohooo!

Oh!  I made a new internet friend.  She is my Internet Soul Mate.  We share a brain and shit...and between the two of us...you may get like 1/4 of a brain.  But we are ok with that, so there.

Ok.  I blogged.  Happy now?

P.S.!!!  I LOVE WEEDS!  I am watching every episode back to back to back to back...hey, what did you think I did all weekend???  But it makes me want to smoke pot, or grow it.  Just sayin'. 

Cruisin' - Our Last Sea Day

We were so rested.  It is amazing how much good can come from 14 hours of sleep.  LOL

We spent our last day just enjoying each other.  We went to Bingo.  Oh yeah.  We played Bingo.

We watched the Newlywed/Marriage show.  Now I have to share a few highlights from this.  They picked three couples from the audience.  The first couple had been married 6 days.  The second for 15 yrs and the third for 61 yrs.  Then they had them sit up on stage with their backs to one another and gave each person a notepad and a pen.  Then they proceeded to ask them 7 questions and the object was when the answers were read a bit later, that they would match.  One question was "If a parrot lived in your bedroom, what word or phrase would it learn first?"  Ok, so answer time.  This one kind of disturbed me...the first couple, married 6 days, his answer is "Daddy".  Wow.  But this did not disturb me so much until I heard the answers to another question..."If your husband is stranded on a deserted island for a year and only ONE person could visit, would he choose a Missionary or a Hooker, and then explain your answer."  The first couple's answers - HIS - A hooker, so I could have someone to talk to.  (yeah right)  HERS - A Missionary, BECAUSE HE IS GOING TO BE A PREACHER!  WHAT????  The same dude that said the parrot would repeat DADDY??  EW EW EW EW EW!
The middle couple's answers - HERS - A Hooker, because he would rather die than go another year without.  HIS - A Hooker, cuz duh!  It has been a year!
The older couple - HERS - A Hooker, so he could have a pretty girl to look at.  (awww)  HIS - A HOOKER IN THE MISSIONARY POSITION!!!!  OMG, I thought we were gonna bust a gut.  He had to be like 80!  We were all chanting Three Points, Three Points!  

The rest of the afternoon and evening, we just spent enjoying our last day on board.  The weather was quite chilly outside as we were getting closer to home but we found sufficient trouble to get into indoors.

We got packed that night before bed so that we would only have our toiletries and such to worry about in the morning.  We were sad to see our cruise come to an end but we were missing the boy and the dog and our own bed and especially our own Toilet.  That toilet was the smallest thing I have ever seen.  Just sayin'.

The next morning, it was liked we were blessed or something.  We had stayed in our room until the very last moment.  We had no idea.  All the other cabins were empty!  LOL!  We dragged our bags down the steps a few floors and then we were hailed from a working elevator.  We hopped on, the elevator let us out and dang if we did not walk right off the ship.  Then there was a four minute wait at customs, then when we exited the building, our shuttle was ready to take us to the car.  NO waiting.  The shuttle dropped us off at our car and VOILA!  We were on our way home.  We were amazed and the ease of the morning.

We made it back to San Antonio right on time and we decided to spend one more evening with the Parents before we headed home.  They took us out to eat again, Chinese food this time and then we passed the evening playing games once more.

Sunday morning found us packing up and hitting the road home.   8 hours later, I was hugging my boy.

All in all, such a wonderful vacation.  I can't wait until this summer when I can take my boy to meet the super cool man friend's parents and go to Sea World and the huge water park, Schlitterbahn!

Cruisin' - Cozumel

We were right on track.  We woke early, got ourselves ready and packed what we would need in our beach bag.  We then took the stairs down to Deck 3 and figured we would just walk right off the boat.  No such luck.  As we stood in line to be let off the boat, we hear a message over the PA and we are told that they have closed the gangway due to another ship pulling into port.  Something about our safety, blah, blah, blah, no one can be on the pier, blah, blah, blah.  So we found ourselves with 30 minutes to kill.

We headed upstairs and grabbed some breakfast.  Once we finished eating, the gangway was reopened and we made our way off the boat.  It was a beautiful day.  The sun was shining, the clouds were fluffy like cotton candy and the skies were blue.  We were so excited to make our way down the pier and find a taxi that would take us to our destination, Playa Uvas.

We had booked this excursion over the internet.  It promised a guided snorkel tour, unlimited beach access, free lunch and an open bar.  This is what we have been looking forward to.

We arrived and made our way to the check in cashier.  Our paperwork stated that they took credit cards so we had brought limited cash as it was all inclusive.  They were kind of put out by having to take a credit card.  They just were not set up for it.  But she took the information from the card and said it would be about an hour and then we would need to sign the receipt.  No problem.  We were going to be here all day.

We were given a tour of the place and then we set up our beach chairs and umbrella.  They brought us our first drink.  A pina colada.  And then we settled into our loungers and enjoyed the view.

It was shaping up to be a perfect day.  The snorkel guide came by and asked if we wanted to join an earlier group instead of the later one we had planned on.  It was a small group and we decided that it was the perfect time to snorkel.

And then....I chickened out.  Yeah.  I know.  I am a big silly stupid head.  I did insist that the super cool man friend go on without me.  So he went off to get outfitted and go over the safety instructions.

 So while he was off gallivanting in the deep blue sea, I walked around a bit and snapped some pictures.

As you can tell, they keep the reservations to a minimum.  That way, you never feel crowded.  It really is a wonderful resort.

After my picture taking jaunt, I grabbed my book and sat down to do some serious drinking.  I had chatted with the bartender for a few minutes and I asked him to make me something yummy.  He recommended a Blue Paradise.  It was vodka, blue curacao, and pina colada.  It was tasty.  And they went down so smooth, I probably had about 5 before the super cool man friend returned from his snorkeling tour.

When he did return, however, it was time for lunch.  They brought out a vegetarian lasagna of sorts for my super cool man friend and I had the steak fajitas.  YUM!

Then, the drinking got a little serious.  I stuck to my Blue Paradise but he decided to switch to Tequila shots with a beer backer.  Four shots or so later, the bartender brought these around...to us and to the table next to us who was keeping us entertained.

Yeah, these little beauties are "shots"  HA!

I tried to drink one, I really did.  I got about half a gulp and I had to stop.  It was nasty!  So I gave mine to the super cool man friend.  AND SO DID THE 5 PEOPLE SITTING AT THE NEXT TABLE!  OMG.  He drank them all.

Then, as he is sitting there, spouting off in Spanish because now that he is drunk, he is totally fluent...I keep saying no more shots, he keeps saying MAS TEQUILA!  I say hush...he laughs!  Here comes our waiter...with a beer, and in the beer, is a shot of tequila.  Down this one goes...

Yeah, I am thinking it is getting very close to time for us to head back to the ship.  I have no idea how many drinks I have consumed, but I do know that I am blammo and we totally got our moneys worth.

Then we hear these words ring out..."Would you like us to make you a drink TO GO?"  What?!?  We can take it with us?  Well, who could turn down that offer?

As we are leaving, we are stopped and asked to pose for a picture.  This is what was posted to the Playa Uvas site.  It is a miracle we are standing upright.

They toss us into a cab and we head back to the pier.  Somehow we make our way back to the ship and to our stateroom where my super cool man friend promptly passes out on the floor.  I followed suit, only in the bed and there we slept for about 6 hours.

We woke up in time to grab a late slice of pizza from the buffet and then it was seriously time for bed.  We slept like logs for the rest of the evening.  Best shore excursion EVAH!!  All for $38.00 per person.

Cruisin' - Progresso, Mexico

Our first port day.  Woohoo!  We had grand plans.  We got up and got ready.  We skipped breakfast.  We were revved up to go see a new destination.

We made our way off the ship.  No problem.  We are golden!  We walk down the pier.  There are big signs saying Do Not Cross the Red Line.  Oh yeah.  We crossed it.  Lawbreakers.

We got in line to board a bus that would take us to Progresso.  We learned that this pier is 4.5 miles long.  You are required to take a bus but luckily it is provided for you at no charge.

We were dropped off in Progresso and we immediately boarded the double decker "bus" that would take us on a tour of the city.  We climbed to the top and found some seats near the front.

Do you see that dot?  Wayyyyy out there?  That is our ship at the end of the pier.

See it better now?

They aren't lying.  Those electrical wires will take a head clean off.  They are LOW!

They said this is a working lighthouse. 

This was a nice park area in the middle of town.

Church.  Can you imagine?

This was a school. 

This guy cracked me up.  What is he looking for?  I am sure he won't find it in there.

The bus tour was amusing.  We had a great guide who kept us laughing.  As we departed the bus, we decided we would walk around some on our own.  We were hoping to find an internet cafe and maybe a nice place to do lunch.  Bad idea.  What we did not notice while we were being driven around the city is....Progresso smells.  Bad.  Like fetid, rancid, nastiness.  We walked for a few blocks and decided we were ready to go back to the ship.  Pronto.

Back on board we had some lunch and then found that the Promenade Deck was totally vacant.  It was wonderful.  We staked out a really nice spot and I ran back to the stateroom to get our games.  We had a great time there all by ourselves.  As some other guests started to trickle in, we declared that the deck was off limits to everyone but ourselves.  That caused a little confusion at first but then they played along as well.  Pretending to be security in order to keep others out.  Yeah, we are total children.

Later, as it started to get crowded, we gathered our things and headed back to the room for a little nap.  We slept for 5 or 6 hours and then freshened up for the Midnight Mexican Buffet on the Lido Deck.  Merriment ensued.  We had a few drinks and some Mexican food.  There was a live band and there was line dancing lessons.  The conga line had almost 200 people snaking around the pool.  BONUS!  We had our picture taken in a huge sombrero.  We did not buy these, but I just wanted you to know...it happened.  Oh yes!  It did!

We drifted off to sleep around 2:00 am with thoughts of Cozumel and the promise of an Open Bar at our excursion dancing through our heads.

Cruisin' - Mah Birf-Day!

You all would have been so proud.  I woke up super early.  I was laying there thinking about how long it had been since my last workout.  I fumbled my way out of bed.  I put on my workout clothes, grabbed a towel and headed out to find the gym.  I was sure that it would be empty and I could do a quick workout and that would be that.  Oh hells no.  The gym is jam packed.  WITH ALL THESE TOOTHPICK women.  And they are fricking RUNNING on the treadmills.  Geez.  I walked (waddled) my butt right in there, jumped on the only open treadmill and started my workout.  I had my ipod on and I was staring at the sea.  I was gonna OWN it.

Yeah.  Do you know how hard it is to walk on a treadmill while a ship drifts back and forth?  Do you know how silly I looked holding on for dear life while trying to keep upright and walk briskly on this little platform?  Hi-fricking-larious.  But I did it.  And as I entered the elevator to get back to my stateroom, I was a sweaty, icky, mess.  Good Times!

In the room, after my shower, I am looking over the spa/salon menu.  It is formal night (cruise elegant as they like to call it) and I wanted to get something done with my hair.  I have not had a true haircut in almost 7 years.  I usually just ask them to trim my bangs and cut off anything that is dead in the back.  My super cool man friend looks at the menu and says..."call and make an appointment".  Really???  Woohoo!  They say they can get me right in.  So off I go to the salon.

I am greeted by "Ashton". (names changed to protect the innocent, *snort*)  He grasps my hands and leads me to his station.  I have never had a male hairdresser before.  I am all atwitter.  He sat down and actually talked about what I would like and what he thinks would be great and then we compromised.  Once we decided what he was going to do...he shampooed me.  Oh. Mah. Gawd.  Every nerve ending in my entire body tingled when this man massaged my head.  There are no words.  I was just a little puddle in a reclining chair.  After that, I pretty much spaced out.  Once my appointment was over, I floated back to the room and showed off my new "hair did" for the super cool man friend.  I also told him that he needs to learn how to shampoo my hair.  So sensual.

We had some time to go grab some lunch and then we went to our very first Ballroom Dancing lesson.  Now, mind you, the super cool man friend and I have never stepped foot on a dance floor together.  Nor have we even slow danced at home.  This was a completely foreign thing for the two of us as a couple.  We got right in there and within minutes...VOILA!...we were dancing!  Together!  It was so exciting.  He is so smooth on the dance floor and he has a great presence.  I hope we can find some real lessons to take here at home.  We had such a wonderful time and it was a nice workout.

It was really windy so we spent most of the time indoors.  We had taken some MTG Decks with us and a card game and a dice game.  So we scoped out a nice spot where we could sit and play some games and imbibe in the drink of the day.  Some banana concoction.  Yum.  It was quite relaxing.  And he kicked my butt.  Even though it was my birthday.  He kept apologizing every time he would win.  So sweet.

It came time to get ready for formal night.  I did my face and started getting dressed.  Remember how I told you I was going to wear the low cut dress?  I chickened out.  I kept staring in the mirror and all I could see was boobages.  It was freaking me out.  I am just too modest.  I don't know.  I ended up covering them all the way up.  I know he was disappointed, but I just did not feel comfortable.  Later though, as we were walking around doing photographs, I did notice QUITE a few ladies that had it ALL hanging out.  So really, I was just being silly.  But we can't change the past.

So yeah, we went and had our pictures taken at all the little photo opportunities that were set up.  It was fun playing model for a few minutes.  Then we headed to dinner.  We had two new table mates that had defected from their first table because the company was horrible.  We had a good time giving them hell.  The movement of the ship was not as noticeable and we were looking forward to a nice evening.  We made it as far as the arrival of the main course and decided that we were done.  The food.  Again.  So we bid farewell to our table mates and headed back to the room.  We got back into comfortable clothes and strolled about the ship entertaining ourselves.

All in all, it was the BEST BIRTHDAY EVER!  Who could ask for anything more?  Great company, open seas, exotic destinations to look forward to?  Perfect.  I am the luckiest gal in the world.